May 2013
snorlaxlovesme:
so i cleared my throat today and
and then someone poked me in the side so I laughed
and THEN I FUCKING SNEEZED
and that’s what it’s like being on the second day of your period
i hope this has been educational
vriksaserket:
vriksaserket:
i changed the settings on my moms phone so that when she types my name it changes to ‘my favorite child’ and when she types a swear, it changes it to something more family friendly
claydols:
my eyes change colour depending on my swag levels. they are the darkest brown when my swag levels are at a maximum. i have never seen them change
basedgodniall:
I LITERALLY DO 8 SECONDS OF WORK THEN REWARD MYSELF WITH 40 MINUTES OF TUMBLR LIKE CAN I STOP DOING THAT
solluxx:
paranoidpot8to:
THERE IS A FUCKING COW TRYING TO GET INSIDE MY HOUSE
I AM HOME ALONE
WHAT DO I DO THERE IS A COW PRESSING ITS FACE AGAINST THE WINDOW
tell it to mooove
peanutbuttarunna:
a-fucking-creeper:
mareeps:
they should have made specialty ice cream flavors for the election
mint romney and obamanana split
i’m 500% done with this site
barackyroad
liftedandgiftedd:
I hope whoever I marry is ready to have a ton of sex all the time.
band-nonsense:
tessaviolet:
peachofcake:
tessaviolet:
i’m tupac on the inside.
tupac is dead.
exactly.
well this is more emotional than expected
someonecalledmefamous:
mu5icliz:
germansam:
tokyosluts:
Sleeping is nice because youre not actually dead and youre not awake so its a win-win situation
It’s like being dead without the commitment.
an open relationship with death
death with benefits
mostlygreenday:
your tumblr is one of those things that you want everyone to see but at the same time you never want to show it to anyone
sodamnrelatable:
“Go wash the dishes!”
“Go take out the garbage!”
“Go fold the clothes!”
“Go make me coffee!”
“Go do the laundry!”
“Go hang the clothes!”
“Go bring me my purse so I can give you money!”
jaclcfrost:
avatargrimes:
jaclcfrost:
chiptunehero:
jaclcfrost:
no one ever talks about peter pan’s brother
peter pot
peter pot the only boy who was higher than peter pan
and this is probably why no one talks about him
peter pot is so high, he neverlands.
and it’s definitely not because of any faith or trust or pixie dust
daddyfuckedme:
wouldn’t it be cool if jellyfish floated around in air instead of water but they didn’t sting you instead they gave you little kisses and rubbed your forehead with their tentacles
run-cause-hitler:
enayalate-h8-this-year:
bbanditt:
slett:
winchestercodependency:
ibecameacat:
what if all your fingers just turned into tongues… like what would you even do
dude people with vaginas would have the best time getting off
“People with vaginas”
what are those called again
I can’t remember
this is what yahoo payed 1.1billion dollars for
It’s scary to find someone that makes you happy. You start giving them all of your attention because they’re what makes you forget everything bad that’s going on in your life. They’re the first person you want to talk to in the morning and the last one before you sleep just so you can start and end your day with a smile. It all sounds great to have that someone, but it’s scary to think about how...
